Are You Wandering In The Wilderness With Your Stepfamily?

In his book, The Smart Stepfamily, Ron Deal compares the stepfamily to the Israelites in the Old Testament as they wander in the wilderness for 40 years.  This period was truly a challenging time for God’s people.  The Israelites roamed around for years trying to find their way to a better place.  They wondered if things would ever get better for them and their families.  Many times they questioned why they were facing the challenges that God allowed them to experience. They even considered that their former life as slaves in Egypt might be a better option than wandering aimlessly in the wilderness.

If you are a part of a stepfamily, chances are good that you can relate. Sometimes, stepfamilies find themselves lost and desperate to find their way to a better place.  They often spend a significant amount of time trying to make sense of the challenges they are facing.  They sometimes wonder if life would be better the way it used to be.

Being a part of a stepfamily comes with issues that are unique only to stepfamilies.  The dynamics of stepfamilies are different as well.  It’s not a good thing or bad thing.  It’s just different.  And maybe that’s where you are right now.

Do you ever find yourself in the middle of family relationships and feel like you can’t please anyone?  Do you feel discouraged or hopeless?  Do you think things may never change?  Do you wonder if it would easier if you had never brought your families together?  Or maybe you will become a member of a stepfamily in your immediate future and you want some help in considering potential obstacles you may face.

If I can assist you and your family in finding your way out of the wilderness and into a new and better place, please contact me today.  After years in the wilderness,  the Israelites made their way into the land that God had promised.  They eventually found their way to a better place, and I believe that can happen for you and your family can as well.  You too can find your way out of the wilderness.  It will take some time and a lot of hard work, but it will be worth it in the end.  

Parenting: The Hardest Thing You Will Ever Do

Several years ago when I was working at a church in Mississippi, a father of a teenager told me that being a parent is the hardest thing you will ever do.  I didn’t have any children of my own at the time, but I thought that I had some understanding of what this father was talking about.  On one hand, I was a youth pastor at the time, and I worked with families every day.  So, I had a glimpse into the some of the struggles that parents and their children face, and I had some insight into how are hard parenting can be.  But in some ways, I really had no idea how difficult parenting can be.  After having a child of my own, I now get the full effect of what this father was trying to say.

Parenting is hard, and it really is one of the most difficult things you will ever do.  Maybe you’re struggling in your parenting right now.  Maybe you have doubts about how you are doing as a parent.  Maybe you question your ability to parent your children effectively and wonder, “Am I getting this right?”  If you’ve asked yourself these questions, you are not alone.   All parents question themselves at times.  It’s totally normal to question the job we do as parents.  But the truth is, as moms and dads, we do the best we can with what we’ve got, and that’s all we can expect of ourselves.  

So, do you want to be a better parent?  Are you facing some challenges in the parenting of your children and need some help?  Are you looking for some new parenting strategies?  Or do you simply need encouragement and support as you struggle with the many challenges of parenthood?  Then I would like to help. 

Sometimes it can be helpful to have another perspective from someone outside of your family who can see things you might not be able to see…someone who is not emotionally connected to your situation.  I would welcome the opportunity to meet with you to talk about the challenges you’re facing in parenting your children.   In my work with parents, I see myself as a guide and coach.  I won’t judge you, but I will encourage, support, and offer some options for connecting with your children as you seek to be a greater parent.  If you would like to talk about setting up an appointment, please contact me at The Connection Place today.

Preparing for Your Big Day

Have you ever wondered how much a wedding actually costs? According to ehow.com, most surveys from 2010 show that a couple spends an average of $27,000 on their wedding! That’s a lot of cash, but it’s really not surprising. The wedding day is one of the biggest days in a couple’s life. A significant amount of time, energy, and money go into the making this special day exactly how the bride and groom have dreamed it to be. So, the incredible amount of money and preparation that go into a wedding day really makes a lot of sense.

But I think there’s a more important question we must ask. How much do couples prepare for their marriage? Shouldn’t preparing for marriage be a higher priority than preparing for one day? Sadly, many couples don’t prepare for marriage. And as a result, many marriages don’t make it. Marriage is certainly worthy of preparation, and the best time to prepare for marriage is before you say I do.

Premarital counseling (or marriage preparation as some call it) is a great way to start your marriage off on the right foot. Premarital counseling provides a husband and wife-to-be a great opportunity to visit potential challenges and better prepare for their life together.

At The Connection Place, we provide engaged couples with multiple counseling sessions to explore a wide variety of topics in preparation for their big day. We’ll talk about everything from sex to children and in-laws to money. We’ll talk about how to argue and how to make up.

So, If you’re engaged or just thinking about getting married, call today to inquire about premarital counseling sessions for you and your significant other. Your relationship is truly worth it!

Overcoming Infidelity & Rebuilding Trust - Emotional & Physical Affairs

To say that infidelity is devastating is an understatement.  Emotional and physical affairs send shock waves through marriages and family relationships.  Worlds are torn apart when the news hits, and lives are changed forever. 

If you or your partner has been unfaithful, you’re probably experiencing a roller coaster of intense emotions.  Anger, hurt, sadness, betrayal, and fear are commonly experienced after the news of an affair is disclosed.

You probably have many questions right now.  How could this happen?  Why me?  What did I do to deserve this?  Can I ever trust again?  What do I do now? 

First, I want to encourage you not to make any drastic decisions today.  Take some time to allow yourself to feel and begin to process through what has happened.  You can make those big decisions later on, but you can’t do that during a flood of emotions.  You simply want to avoid making a decision now that you will regret later.

Second, your relationship can be repaired.  With God’s help, healing can take place.  The road to recovering from an affair is long and hard, but recovery is possible.



The Connection Place wants to guide you through the process to healing your broken relationship.  If you would like to begin your journey towards rebuilding your relationship, contact us today for a free 15-minute phone consultation!

The Connection Place

Guiding Clients in Their Personal Journey Towards Wholeness

100 Hazel Path, Lexington Building, Suite B
Hendersonville, TN 37075

Phone:  (615) 308-7804  

E-Mail: info@theconnectionplace.org

http://www.theconnectionplace.org/

Warning Signs of Anxiety & Depression

Anxiety and depression are two of the most prevalent mental and emotional challenges that exist in our world today. These issues can be experienced in the teenage years and adulthood, and children may shows signs of anxiety and depression as well. It is interesting that the symptoms of anxiety and depression are often experienced differently from person to person. Symptoms of anxiety can include, but are not limited to, the following:

• Racing thoughts
• Shortness of breath
• Shaking or trembling
• Dizziness
• Sweats
• Racing heart
• Fear of dying
• Chest pain
• Blurred vision
• Fear of death
• Excessive worry
• Sleep disturbance
• Irritability
• Muscle tension
• Restlessness
• Fluctuations in appetite

Symptoms of depression can include, but are not limited to, the following:

• Depressed mood
• Sleep disturbance
• Appetite disturbances
• Weight loss or weight gain
• Feelings of hopelessness
• Loss of motivation
• Difficulty concentrating
• Pessimism
• Irritability
• Fatigue
• Indecisiveness
• Poor memory
• Inappropriate guilt
• Social isolation
• Diminishes sex drive
• Preoccupation with death
• Crying spells
• Suicidal thoughts or feelings
• Aggression
• Alcohol or drug abuse
• Apathy Feelings of worthlessness

Anxiety and depression can often leave people frustrated and stuck, not knowing where to turn. At The Connection Place, I take a two-prong approach to the treatment of anxiety and depression. My first goal is to give you some tools to cope with the anxiety or depressive symptoms. Through these tools, I will try to help you reduce the symptoms you are experiencing. However, treatment does not stop there. My second goal is to answer the questions, “Why does this make sense?” I want to help you figure out what is causing your symptoms. I want to get to the root of the symptoms as I assist in guiding you and other clients to a place of hope and healing in your journey.

Connecting Couples Through Counseling

Do you want to be closer to your significant other in your life? If we were really honest with ourselves, we would admit that one of the things that we want the most is to be close to our spouse. We want to be real with them. We long for a safe and secure relationship with our mate. Unfortunately, this connection doesn’t always happen. Sometimes, for whatever reason, we just don’t feel close to our spouse. The list of obstacles that get in the way of us being close is long. Past relationships, fear of intimacy, fear of abandonment, emotional and physical infidelity, traumatic events, and childhood wounds are only some of the things that get us off track.

So, what keeps you and your spouse from being close? What keeps you from experiencing that intimacy that you long for…that intimacy that you were created for? You see, that’s how you were originally designed. God made us for relationships. He made us to want a connection. He made us with a longing for closeness...a longing to experience true intimacy with Him and with our spouse.

My goal in couples counseling is to help you and your spouse find the answers to the questions above. I want to help you to experience a connection like you’ve never experienced before. No matter what keeps you from being close in your marriage right now, with God’s help and a lot of work, you can be close once again.

We Only Get One Shot at This Thing Called Fatherhood

After a quick trip to Shipley’s for a chocolate glazed donut with sprinkles (it was for Bethany, of course), we headed off to her preschool for my first Donuts with Dad. I must admit that I was excited about any excuse to hang out with my daughter, and the opportunity to eat donuts was just icing on the cake. As I sat in Bethany’s classroom, I scanned the room and couldn’t help but wonder what they were thinking. They being the one little boy and the one little girl who were sitting at their tables without their father.

“Where are they?” I thought to myself. “Don’t they know how important this is to these kids!” I don’t know where these dads were. Maybe they were at work. Maybe they were out of town. Maybe they just weren’t around at all.

My heart broke for those precious little kids. I wanted their daddy’s to be there. I wanted them to be there to make some wonderful memories with their kids… to spend some time with their little ones… to be present on this special day. I wanted them to be there because we only get one shot at this. We only get one shot at this thing called fatherhood. We only get one chance to do it right. There just aren’t any mulligans in this game of fatherhood…there aren’t any do-over’s. We have to make it count the first time.

Some of you are thinking to yourself, “But I haven’t been there. I haven’t made it count. I’ve missed out on so much, and I can never get that back.” No matter what kind of dad you’ve been to this point, you can start making it count today. So, how do you do that?

1. Forget it!
If you’ve missed out on your child’s life, I encourage you to do what the apostle Paul did and simply forget it. Paul had certainly done some things he wasn’t proud of, but he didn’t let that get him down. In Philippians 3:11, Paul says that he now “forgets what is behind and strains towards what is ahead…” Paul wasn’t focused on the past, and as a father, you can’t either. Ask God to help you remember the past less and less, and pray that He will give you a fresh start with your child today.

2. Schedule it!
Dads, if we’re going to make it happen, we have to schedule it. All too often we schedule time with our family around our work and other commitments. Instead, we have to plan everything around our families. Schedule outings with your kids. Put them on your calendar, and do whatever you need to do to follow through and keep those appointments.

3. Treasure it!
Soak it up and treasure those times with your little ones. I think about Mary, the mother of Jesus, in Luke 2:19 when she “treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” What joy Jesus brought to her, and what joy our kids should bring to us. Treasure the time you have with them, and make it count today!